What Is Therapy For?
Life in New York City today can be hectic. There’s not a lot of time to just sit and think and feel. The 45 minutes you spend in a therapy session is the perfect time to take time for yourself. Together, we’ll listen to your thoughts, memories, and dreams. We’ll make connections between what you think and feel, between your present and past, and between yourself and other people.
Making these connections will help you to make sense of your life—and making sense leads to making helpful changes.
What Do We Talk About?
In therapy, you can talk about whatever is on your mind. Maybe it’s a problem you’re trying to solve in your everyday life, or something that’s been troubling you for a long time. Maybe it’s a recent success or a long-term goal you have for the future. Sometimes, you might feel stuck and not like talking at all. We can talk about that, too.
The simple process of turning thoughts and feelings into words is therapeutic in itself. That’s why they call it “talk therapy.”
Are You Just Going to Sit There?
A big part of my job is to listen closely to you, but that doesn’t mean I stay silent. My job is also to help you make the connections you need to create change in your life. Though you’ll do most of the talking, I will share my thoughts and feelings about the things you talk about—but only if they are relevant to you and your process.
That’s one way that talking with a therapist is different from talking with friends and family members—I won’t be telling you all about my weekend plans. The other important difference has to do with something called “transference.”
What Is Transference?
Transference is probably the most powerful tool we have in therapy. Simply put, it’s when you transfer feelings and thoughts about one person to another. It happens all the time to everybody. Has your spouse or partner ever reminded you of your father? Do you sometimes feel like a kid with your mother when you’re dealing with your boss? Or maybe you find yourself searching for someone like the parent or sibling you wish you had.
Transference happens with everyone, but when it happens in therapy, we get to use it to make change.
We use transference by paying attention to it and talking about it. Sometimes, I will remind you of your mother. Other times, it will be like sitting with your father. Maybe it’s a combination of both. Together, we will sort this out and uncover why you do what you do and feel what you feel about yourself and the people in your life—and how to change it for the better.
Here’s a video that explains transference pretty well:
How Long Will Therapy Take?
Therapy can be short or long. I work in an open-ended way and, while I will give you my recommendation, it’s really up to you how long to take. Working on an everyday problem might not take long at all, while changing life-long dynamics can take years.
Usually, within the first few months, you’ll start to notice changes. In six months, you could see very satisfying progress. As time goes by, we can always check in about where we’re at—and where you’d like to go next in your process.
Will My Insurance Cover Therapy?
If you have out-of-network mental health benefits, your therapy may be covered in part or in full by your insurance plan. Please check your coverage carefully by asking your insurance provider the following questions:
- Do I have out-of-network mental health benefits?
- Do I have a deductible? How much is it and how much has been met?
- What percentage of the therapy fee is covered?
- How many sessions are covered per year?
Please note: With out-of-network coverage, it is your responsibility to pay for each session on the day of your appointment. I will provide a receipt you can submit to your insurance company for reimbursement from them.
What If, After Our Consultation, I Decide to See a Different Therapist?
That’s okay. I won’t take it personally. In fact, I encourage you to shop around. You’re investing in something important and a good fit is essential. Sometimes, one meeting is not enough, and it takes two or three consultation sessions to know for sure.
If you decide that I’m not the right therapist for you, I’m happy to help you find someone else, and can provide you with referrals to colleagues that I trust and respect. It’s important to me that you find the therapeutic relationship that will be most useful to you—even if it isn’t with me.