When searching for your “real self,” it’s important to keep in mind that we all have multiple selves. Which one is real? Scientific American looks at the research that is calling authenticity into question as a concept: “Perhaps the thorniest issue of them all though is the entire notion of the ‘real self.’ The humanistic…

The psychoanalyst Peter Fonagy speaks about the importance of mentalization–being thought of by another, so that we might think of ourselves. He says, “If we do not have someone around us who is able to think about us accurately, as we are, we will have an enfeebled sense of ourselves. We will never really be…

“I think we are well-advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed…

Dr. Anne Fausto-Sterling, professor of biology and gender studies, has been writing about the non-binary nature of sex for a long time. Now is a good time to revisit her work. She writes about it this week in the New York Times: “Two sexes have never been enough to describe human variety. Not in biblical…

“Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.” Psychologist Susan David on the value of so-called “negative” emotions.

This conundrum is often the log jam that gets in the way of emotional healing: “When you’re a child, you have very little power to change your environment. You can’t move away, or force somebody to stop hurting you. So, you have two choices. You can admit to yourself that you are powerless ― that…

In our culture of mandatory happiness, wise words from Svend Brinkmann, author of the Danish bestseller Stand Firm: Resisting the Self-Improvement Craze: “I believe our thoughts and emotions should mirror the world. When something bad happens, we should be allowed to have negative thoughts and feelings about it because that’s how we understand the world.”…

From the New York Times, on the importance of working with an LGBTQ-affirmative therapist: “Having a gay-affirmative therapist really changed my life in a lot of ways,” said one student therapist. “I had always thought, ‘I’m just like my straight friends, only I’m attracted to men.’ But what I found out is that there’s a…

Here are 4 things that competent therapists do, according to Michael Karson at Psychology Today. I agree. 1. The therapist understands that a therapeutic relationship is very different from a social relationship. My view is that good therapy requires the patient to take off the social mask, and therapist behaviors that are social keep the…

This week, author and war correspondent Sebastian Junger (Perfect Storm, War) talks about PTSD and soldiers on WNYC’s Brian Lehrer show. He discusses the importance of a cohesive, communal social network and treatment for healing from trauma. Listen here: EMDR is one therapy that has been studied and proven to work well with veterans and…

Couples counseling isn’t just for romantic partners anymore. It’s also helpful for business partners. Recently, the New York Times profiled Ilan Zechory and Tom Lehman, two founders of Genius.com, and discussed how couples therapy is helping people who work together in business relationships. “Counseling has become a popular way for young technology entrepreneurs to work…

Scientific research has long shown the benefits of expressive writing–the private kind of writing done to express emotions, not to please readers. Now, reports the New York Times: “researchers are studying whether the power of writing — and then rewriting — your personal story can lead to behavioral changes and improve happiness. The concept is…

The Book of Life on the “secret problems of other couples” and the work of Canadian photographer Chloë Ellingson: “Our sense of what a ‘good enough’ relationship looks like is unfairly biased. We need to help ourselves by having a more accurate, informed picture of normal relationships. In an abstract, light way we know that…

“Psychosomatic” has become a dirty word, but the psyche (mind) and the soma (body) are most certainly connected and act on each other. There is no one without the other. While it’s always important to rule out serious medical conditions with a doctor, psychotherapy that takes the body into account, along with the mind and…

Many people want to focus on the “power of positive thinking,” believing that if you keep your thoughts upbeat and happy, you’ll be in a better state of mind and move towards achieving your goals. But more and more research is emerging that says that is simply not so. Forcing yourself to be positive proves…

More research and writing is coming out in support of daydreaming, that aimless mental activity that happens when you’re not using your brain for Facebooking or playing a video game or watching TV. When you try to multitask, says Daniel Levitin in Mother Jones, “your brain starts to produce cortisol—the stress hormone. And you do…

Science shows: “By writing about traumatic, stressful or emotional events, participants were significantly more likely to have fewer illnesses and be less affected by trauma. Participants ultimately spent less time in the hospital, enjoyed lower blood pressure and had better liver functionality than their counterparts.” Just 15 minutes a day can make a difference. The…

From an article by Michael S. Roth on the enduring importance of Freud’s ideas: “Questions about what desires are being satisfied extend from the political to the personal (and back again). What desire is the war against terrorism really satisfying? Why do police departments in small towns want to acquire big tanks? Why are some…

From the NY Times: “It took Sebastian Zimmermann, a psychiatrist on the Upper West Side, 13 years to produce Fifty Shrinks, a book of portraits depicting ‘therapists in their natural habitats.'” My favorite quote from the slideshow comes from Martin Bergmann: “I have been an analyst for more than fifty years and I still find…

In the New Yorker magazine, Lena Dunham tells the story of her time in therapy: “One evening, I see her on the subway, and our interaction, warm but disorienting, inspires a poem, the last lines of which are ‘I guess you are not my mother. You will never be my mother.'” Read the whole essay…